Just like that

Yes, it’s been a long time since my last post. A lot of water has flown under the bridge since then,literally. Nadal has been crowned the king of clay yet again, football frenzy has gripped the world and Singapore has witnessed floods. On the personal front as well, there’s been so much to talk about .I have welcomed a smartphone, a MP3 player and a brand new laptop into my family. Seriously, even for a non-gadget freak like me just the awareness that you own these cool gizmos gives an instant thrill unmatched by the joy of actually using them.

Where have I been all this while? Well except for the weekend gateway to Bintan, it’s been office-home-gym-bed-office-home-gym-bed…..,the normal routine that I have come to follow in the last one month. Somehow, I can’t seem to recollect what exactly has kept me busy in the last few days. Paying regular visits to the gym in the aspiration of having John Abraham-esque abs has been a welcome distraction. Working out really makes you feel good about yourself and the momentary pain and tiredness is what I have kind of come to look forward to at the end of the day. For one, it guarantees that you are dead the moment you hit the bed and you wake up feeling rejuvenated the next morning. New developments on the emotional front have left me feeling miserable and distraught at one moment, carefree and peaceful at the very next. The roller-coaster ride just does not seem to end. I consciously see myself going through this cycle of liking-attachment-expectation-heartbreak-hopelessness-numbness-realisation-selftalk-normalcy, again and again. I don’t know whether one can call it a quality but it never takes me long to come to terms with….you know what I mean. Maybe it’s because I seldom get attached to someone as intimately in reality as I think I do in my mind.

Bintan acted as the perfect mood enhancer though. To be in the midst of serenity is a humbling feeling really. Picture postcard settings start popping in front of your eyes every moment. Especially this one seaside restaurant we went to for lunch, the turquoise colour of the endless sea all around coupled with a cloudy sky created an unforgettable image that is captured in my mind for posterity. Standing on this wooden passageway that juts out further into the waters alone with just the wind and rain for company reminded me of this scene in the movie Namesake where Gogol and his father walk together on a trail of boulders into the sea and Ashok(the father) tells Gogol that here they are together, just the two of them and that he’ll always be there for Gogol whenever he needs him. I was alone and yet I felt so comforted, so gratified in the solitude just thanking the stars for being kind enough to have brought me here. Almost as if the Gods had destined it to be thus when all of us were getting a little iffy about the weather getting worse thus robbing us of the chance to try out the water sports, the clouds parted and Bintan was bathed in sunlight once again. Time to try out some thrills and spills. Over the next three hours, I went through the most freakishly frightening yet immensely thrilling time of my life . Thrown out of the banana boat, gliding on the waters in a jet ski at top speed and going amateur snorkeling under the blue sea- what more can one ask for! We called it a day after a round of beach volleyball and sipping some chilled coconut water at the beach restaurant. Tired as hell, I hit the bed early. Not even the mouthwatering prospect of tasting Chivas Regal for the first time in my life could keep me up.

But we weren’t done with Bintan yet. How could we without some traditional Balinese massage to cool down( or maybe spice up) things a little? And man, was it relaxing or what! Yes, the masseuse was female. Yes, we had nothing but briefs on. Yes, there was music and dim lights. But that’s about it. An hour of unadulterated pleasure passed me by in a flash and before one knew, I was done with my first visit to a professional massage parlour. Phew!

Another week is almost done and dusted. We are off to Malaysia tomorrow. Time to throw caution to the wind and try out some real stuff, stuff that I’ve been told is very easily accessible out there. Meanwhile on the work front, which I hardly ever talk about even though I’m officially on an internship, my midterm appraisal went well. Got a B which is decent. The highlight though was this meeting that I had with the Asia head of my division and he seemed really impressed talking to me. To top it all, he even talked about it to my manager just before we were to go for the midterm appraisal! The Gods do smile on you sometimes. It was one of those occasions and I couldn’t help feeling, “ Maybe I am not as hopeless as I make myself out to be”. One really needs these moments of self belief you see, when circumstances conspire to elevate your mood and you learn to start appreciating yourself for what you are, not for someone else you would like to be. Leaving with that thought, I’ll say “Truly Asia”- Here I come!

PS: Made a video on my new touchphone on the beach at Bintan , the All-Souls-Bared kind. Dunno whether I ‘ll ever bring myself to showing it to the Subject, though.